Saturday, May 29, 2010

My Role as a Stepmom

Spending time with the kids has been an adjustment for everyone. They seem to be loosening up with every visit we have with them and are bonding with Eduardo really well. I struggle at times with boundaries and mostly with communication. Funny thing is I can communicate easier and better with the kids than the adults. It´s more fun too! They seem to enjoy helping me and are eager to learn English as well.

Maynor is a 10 year old cuddly little boy. He is at the time in his life where is voice is changing and when he and Eduardo rough house or he is talking loud, his whiney voice drives me up the wall! Not so much his voice, but his squeel. Poor guy. He is a good looking kid, well they both are actually. I find it interesting how much he likes to cuddle with his papa. It didn´t take long for him to warm up at all. It was instant and their bond keeps getting stronger. It´s really sweet. Maynor just never seems to keep his hands off Eduardo though. I mean seriously, it´s starting me be a little strange for me. If I ever go up to Eduardo and hug him for even an instant, Maynor is right there and has to grab him and hug on him too. I am starting to see a little bit of jealousy forming there.

Daniela on the other hand is the little princess. She has actually taken a while to warm up to her papi and seemed to warm up to me first. She is particulary close with Eduardo´s mom. They are joined at the hip. The more she is warming up to us though, the more independent she is becoming. I can really see her desire for a mommy. It´s really sad and it makes me feel really sad that she hasn´t had that. Not having papi is one thing, but growing up without your mother, especially for a girl is another thing. I feel really good about the bond we are forming and see that relationship blossoming. I feel a maternal instinct with her, but also a strong friendship too.

Kids of this age in general, I have not spent a lot of time around. Eduardo either. It has been an adjustment for both of us. It´s hard for him to have his attention focused in so many directions and it´s hard for us as a couple to adjust to having other kids around that need our attention. I also think that little things that annoy us in other people´s kids don´t so much when they are your own.

The kids spend Monday through Friday morning at their mom´s parents house and our house friday afternoon through Monday morning. We were very close to having them com live with us this week, but after Eduardo consulted with a lawyer, it was decided it´s better for them to stay where they are for now. Legally Eduardo has the right to take them as the father and since the mother isn´t here, but if they fought us we don´t have a very good case right now. We feel it is best is several ways though, especially for our relationship. I´m sure it will all work itself out in time.

I´m not sure if I´ve written before that I have applied for both kids to come to the States as well. I sent the applications off in February. it is a different process for them since they have never been to the States before. It is not as complicated. I didn´t use a lawyer for them to save money, so I´m doing this part on my own and am hoping I don´t mess up. I hope to receive news on their cases soon. If they do get approved they will be able to come and visit. Eduardo wants them to stay in ES until they are 18 and then it will be their choice. They cannot get visitor visas though, so residency is the only way for them to be able to visit us every year.

Appt Date

I realized I haven´t written about our appt date at the embassy, the whole reason we are here! I received an email about a month ago now stating Eduardo´s 1st appt is on June 21st. I was actually pretty devasted hearing the news although I should´ve been happy. We thought our timing was pretty good with when Eduardo quit his job and us coming down here, but I guess we couldn´t have been more off. We ended up being here a couple months too early. I cried a lot at the time, but now realize there is not much we could have done differently. Everything we have done thus far has been with the best intentions and what we thought was the right thing. These things are just out of our control.

So Eduardo will first go to his medical exam on June 19th and then his first appt on June 21st. He then has a 2nd appt scheduled for June 28th. That will hopefully be the final appt. From there on out it is just a waiting game. The current wait times in El Salvador are ridiculously long. The rate the Embassy is processing waivers right now is nothing short of pathetic actually. We are probably looking at 12 to 16 months from the last appt date. Pretty scary. I try not to think about it too much yet because it just makes me sick. We were prepared for a long haul, but it seems to just get longer. I just pray we can make it through this time and that we get a speedy approval, nothing less than an approval! There is no other option!!


I haven´t written in a while and I´m not quite sure why. It´s funny because I write blogs in my head, I just have to get them onto the computer! Speaking of computers, ours is getting a tune up right now so I am typing on the house computer with a spanish keyboard which makes things interesting. We are a little worried about getting our computer back since we haven´t heard from the lady fixing it since last night. Hopefully all is well and we will get it back shortly safe and sound.

So much has happened since my last post. We have traveled a lot and been on quite a few adventures. We visited the El Boqueron Volcano in San Salvador, went to see some Mayan Ruins and drove around beautiful Lake Coatapeque. We also spent a wonderful day at a beautiful beach club. Each of these places deserve their own post, but it didn´t work out that way. I promise I will be keeping up more now.

Eduardo and I have been visiting San Salvador a lot, the capital city. Each time we go I get to hang out with my friend Sarah as well so it´s great. Her and her husband are a great support system for getting through all this adjustment time and coping with living here. Things have still been difficult, but are getting a bit easier. Maybe not easier, but I seem to have gotten into my own groove of things and have some sort of a routine now. I have been cooking a lot and it´s been good to feel like I have something to contribute. Finding foods I want to cook is difficult, but I´m getting by. Sarah introduced us to PriceSmart in San Salvador, which is similar to Sam´s Club or Costco in the States. I prefer to buy the meat their especially. The other option for meat is the Mercado where everything is out in the open with flies all over and hot hot hot. This meat pretty much disgusts me to no end. I will have a whole blog on eating and buying food in ES at some point.

The rainy season has started and it´s been raining almost nonstop for days now. It´s cooled down which is nice, but it makes it hard to go anywhere. We have a tin roof too so when it rains, you can´t really hear anything in the house. It´s incredibly loud. No music, tv or hardly any talking is done. It´s pretty funny. Liliana gets really scared when it gets really loud and we feel bad for her.

Speaking of Liliana it is raining and she´s scared so I must go. Will write again soon.