Saturday, May 29, 2010

My Role as a Stepmom

Spending time with the kids has been an adjustment for everyone. They seem to be loosening up with every visit we have with them and are bonding with Eduardo really well. I struggle at times with boundaries and mostly with communication. Funny thing is I can communicate easier and better with the kids than the adults. It´s more fun too! They seem to enjoy helping me and are eager to learn English as well.

Maynor is a 10 year old cuddly little boy. He is at the time in his life where is voice is changing and when he and Eduardo rough house or he is talking loud, his whiney voice drives me up the wall! Not so much his voice, but his squeel. Poor guy. He is a good looking kid, well they both are actually. I find it interesting how much he likes to cuddle with his papa. It didn´t take long for him to warm up at all. It was instant and their bond keeps getting stronger. It´s really sweet. Maynor just never seems to keep his hands off Eduardo though. I mean seriously, it´s starting me be a little strange for me. If I ever go up to Eduardo and hug him for even an instant, Maynor is right there and has to grab him and hug on him too. I am starting to see a little bit of jealousy forming there.

Daniela on the other hand is the little princess. She has actually taken a while to warm up to her papi and seemed to warm up to me first. She is particulary close with Eduardo´s mom. They are joined at the hip. The more she is warming up to us though, the more independent she is becoming. I can really see her desire for a mommy. It´s really sad and it makes me feel really sad that she hasn´t had that. Not having papi is one thing, but growing up without your mother, especially for a girl is another thing. I feel really good about the bond we are forming and see that relationship blossoming. I feel a maternal instinct with her, but also a strong friendship too.

Kids of this age in general, I have not spent a lot of time around. Eduardo either. It has been an adjustment for both of us. It´s hard for him to have his attention focused in so many directions and it´s hard for us as a couple to adjust to having other kids around that need our attention. I also think that little things that annoy us in other people´s kids don´t so much when they are your own.

The kids spend Monday through Friday morning at their mom´s parents house and our house friday afternoon through Monday morning. We were very close to having them com live with us this week, but after Eduardo consulted with a lawyer, it was decided it´s better for them to stay where they are for now. Legally Eduardo has the right to take them as the father and since the mother isn´t here, but if they fought us we don´t have a very good case right now. We feel it is best is several ways though, especially for our relationship. I´m sure it will all work itself out in time.

I´m not sure if I´ve written before that I have applied for both kids to come to the States as well. I sent the applications off in February. it is a different process for them since they have never been to the States before. It is not as complicated. I didn´t use a lawyer for them to save money, so I´m doing this part on my own and am hoping I don´t mess up. I hope to receive news on their cases soon. If they do get approved they will be able to come and visit. Eduardo wants them to stay in ES until they are 18 and then it will be their choice. They cannot get visitor visas though, so residency is the only way for them to be able to visit us every year.

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