Holding On To Hope

I hoped and prayed that my husband would be back by Thanksgiving...he didn't come.  

I hoped and prayed my love would return by our daughter's 3rd birthday...still he didn't show.

I have hoped and prayed with all my might that my dear one would come back to us by Christmas...and yet again he will remain absent.

I was numb to the Christmas cheer and joy the past 2 weeks.  I think I felt that if I just pretended like Christmas was still far enough away, that he might, he just might be back by that day.  

This weekend I was reminded how this holiday was only a week away.  The flood of emotions swept in and choked me so tight I couldn't breathe.  The reality of the fact that there was no way his passport would reach him in time hit me like a ton of bricks.  

I spent 2 days with mom helping her shop to avoid the pain.  I've kept myself busy as to not have a moment to think.  It's better that way.

So now what? New Year's??  Is there a chance?  Would it be the slightest bit possible?  I really don't know.

But I do know that I'm holding on to hope.  

It's all I have left.