Friday, July 2, 2010
Eduardo´s Psych Evaluation
Eduardo had his psych evaluation on June 18th. The appt lasted about 1 1/2 hours. He said he basically had to give his entire life history; when did his dad die, how was that for him, did he go to school, where has he lived, how did he go to the States. All that kind of stuff. He also asked a lot about me too I guess; have I been married before, do I have kids, how long was I married...those kinds of things. He said the doc was much nicer than the medical doc. He did all the talking. The doc barely said anything, just asked questions. I guess we will never really know how it went, but am glad to have it all over with. Afterwards we had to go drop the "sealed envelope" off at the medical doc's office so it can be forwarded to the Embassy. I'm getting super nervous. I just now finished my personal letter for the packet and emailed it to my lawyer to review. We are going to stay at the Holiday Inn in San Salvador a couple blocks from the Embassy on Sunday night so hubby can be there really early to get a number. His appt is at 7:30am Monday morning. Liliana and I will wait anxiously in our nice air conditioned hotel room. Maybe we'll go swimming, workout, have a bite to eat. haha. Yeah right, I'll be biting my nails the whole time!! Liliana has ripped a couple pages out of my packet when I wasn't looking lately so I am frantic to redo those pages and hole punch them and put it back together. If only my darn printer would cooperate! I'll let you guys know how it goes...
Eduardo´s Medical Exam
We dropped Eduardo off around 9 30am on June 17th. When we called to make the appt they said we didn´t need one and to show up around 7am. That didn´t happen, but we got there early enough. Expat and her hubby were kind enough to drive us and we dropped hubby off and went and ran errands. He called about two and a half hours later for us to pick him up. They only made him receive a couple vaccinations because he had a paper with a list of his previous ones. He had a really horrible experience there though. He was very upset about it on the way home. He said the doctor was just plain awful! He treated him very poorly and in his words as a piece of meat. Poor papito. The doctor gave him a long lecture about drinking and driving because of his prior DUI and very closely looked at his tatto. He took a $100 drug test, which everyone does I guess. All together the visit was around $300. The doctor then referred him to get a psych exam somewhere else and told us to go at 2 30pm. We got there at 1 45 and the receptionist was nice and told us the doc wouldn´t be in the rest of the day and we made an appt to go back tomorrow at 2 15pm. So we will drive all the way back to San Sal again tomorrow. The psych exam will be around $80. While hubby was waiting at the first doctor´s office I guess he had lots of time to talk to the receptionist. hmm. Anyway, she was telling him to make copies of everything we take with us to the embassy because they are horrible about losing documents. I think I will go ahead and make a copy of our waiver packet. I am glad we went today instead of our original plan of Friday since he has to do the psych. Hopefully it goes okay for him. He is being sent for alcohol and tattoo reasons. Luckily our lawyer prepped us for that!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Daniela´s Birthday
On Sunday Eduardo had the chance to celebrate his daughter Daniela´s birthday with her for the first time. It was very special for both of them, though neither one admitted it verbally. Daniela turned 8 years old. We went to Entre Rios for part of the day. It´s a water park about 15 minutes from our house. The water parks here are very different than in the States. There a usually a variety of different pools to swim in, some with slides, some without. At this particular place there are 2 areas with shallow water for the little ones with lots of slides and playthings. The main difference here is that the pools at the parks are typically fresh water. They do not have insane amounts of chlorine added to them. I like this for the most part because I don´t like chlorine and I don´t want Liliana being exposed to it at such a young age. But the flip side is you never know where the other people swimming have come from and how dirty they are. All in all, the parks are pretty and it´s a nice break from the heat. We took Mama Chica with us. She seemed to enjoy herself, but it was also sad. Papa Ticho knew we were going there for Daniela´s birthday and had been commenting to Eduardo about it before he passed. He was excited to see the animals they have there, particularly the monkeys. I remembered this as we pulled up to the entrance and found it interesting that not one person even mentioned going to see the animals. It was a bittersweet day. Liliana was very cautious of the water at first as she always is. She loosened up more through the day and was totally submersed and loving it by the time we were ready to leave. It was so cute to see her having so much fun. I´m glad I got to experience Daniela´s birthday with her for the 2nd year in a row!
Friday, June 4, 2010
A Salvadoran Funeral
This is something I never would have wished I would experience during my time in El Salvador. Unfortunately last Monday, May 31st, Eduardo lost his dear Grandpa. His name was Patricio Gabrielle Tepas, aka Papa Ticho and he was 93 years old.
I had the pleasure of getting to spend time with Papa Ticho on two separate occassions. The first was last year on my visit to ES with my mom and Liliana. We took grandma and grandpa with us to the beach and watching Papa Ticho in the water was like watching one of the kids. It was the highlight of my trip. Coming back this year, I got to have that experience again. We decided to go to the beach one day and asked the grandparents if they wanted to come with us. Grandma, aka Mama Chica, got so excited she had to sit down because she got dizzy! lol. We took them and they both got to experience the ocean and water again, which is a rare occasion for them.
Papa Ticho and Mama Chica are Eduardo's grandparents from his dad's side. Eduardo's father died when he was nine years old. His mom was so close to his dad's family that she continues to live with and around them to this day. The grandparents live in a room that connects my MIL's house to Eduardo's uncle's house next door. Although that is their son next door, my MIL has always been the one to look after them. That is the kind hearted soul that she is. She feeds them 3 meals a day and makes sure they have everything they need.
Last Monday my MIL, Ana, decided to take Liliana out for a walk because she was getting fussy. She walked out the door and headed up the street. What happened next continues to haunt me. Ana started screaming for Maynor. Maynor went running and I immediately got up from the computer. I knew something wasn't right. I started out the door and up the street as well. She then started screaming for Eduardo. I got closer and Liliana was standing on the ground by herself looking at the scene. I immediately picked her up and saw blood on the ground. Papa Ticho looked as though he had fallen and hit his head. There was blood on his head and Ana and now Eduardo were trying to sit him up. All the moments after are so clear, but everything happened so fast that it's almost a blur. There were people gathering around. I saw Eduardo and a neighbor doing CPR and trying to get Papa Ticho to regain consciousness. Ana was crying hysterically and Daniela had come to see what was going on. Maynor had gone back to the house and I later realized had been praying the whole time. Papa Ticho came to for a minute and a truck pulled up. Eduardo and I ran to the house to get money and anything he would need for the hospital. We ran back and he had already been lifted onto the truck to go to the local clinic. They left and we waited.
Daniela and I walked back into the house and she immediately sat down next to Maynor on the floor and they both proceeded to pray amongst the sobbing tears. I headed outside and Ana said she wanted to go to the clinic. I grabbed my purse and keys and headed out. Aunt Rosita came from across the street to stay with the kids. Ana and I left with Liliana. We got halfway to the clinic and saw the truck headed back. Eduardo motioned to us to go back and we instantly knew it wasn't good.
We got back to the house and the truck was parked out front. Things are done very differently here when someone dies. Papa Ticho was brought back from the clinic in the truck and there he was, lying like he was asleep. It was almost too much for me to handle. I had never seen anyone die before. I couldn't believe what was happening. I guess he didn't even make it to the clinic. The doctor examined him and said there was nothing that could be done. Apparantly he had a heart attack and that caused him to fall and hit his head and go unconscious.
As we all stood there not believing what was happening, all I could think about was Mama Chica. Why wasn't anyone telling her?! They brought her to the front of the house from the back and showed her her husband. It was so awful. She didn't even react at first, looking as if she thought he was sleeping. Then she realized what had happened and Eduardo explained to her that he was gone.
Within minutes it seemed like a casket was brought to the house and his Uncle's next door was being cleared out to make way for the casket and ceremony. He was put into the casket and put in the house. Ana was frantically calling her family and everyone was showing up or on their way. When someone dies here, they don't preserve the body in any way so it all happens very quickly.
Candles were lit everywhere and flowers were being brought. Coffee and bread were being made and bought and being served to every guest. This continued through the night. On the first night everyone stays up the entire night praying and talking and carrying on. I finally had to put Liliana to bed and myself. I didn't sleep well that night. Eduardo came to bed around 4am and didn't get much sleep either.
The next day preparations were being made for the funeral. I tried to call my mom but she was in Oregan in the mountains with my brother completely unreachable. Eduardo was doing everything everywhere and although there were a thousand people all around, I felt completely and utterly alone. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
The mass at the Church was scheduled for 3pm. At 2:30 everyone would walk alongside the casket up to the church from the house. Luckily before this, I was able to talk to my mom. I told her the story and cried and cried and was able to let it all out. Up until then I hadn't been able to talk to anybody. It was a huge relief. We then set out for the church. I started to walk for a little bit with Liliana while Eduardo took some of the elderly people in the car. Liliana got scared and fussy, so we jumped in the car with them. Thank goodness, it was a long walk! Eduardo thoroughly enjoyed the church service, but I had to excuse myself and go outside with Liliana and play because she wouldn't sit still. After the service everyone walked to the cemetary where Papa Ticho was buried. He was buried alongside Eduardo's dad and his dad and mom I believe. Watching the men all lift him down into the grave was really hard. It was then I really knew I would never see him again. It must have been hard for Ana as well being at the cemetary. Also beside them were the two babies she had lost at two different times in her life. She is such a strong woman to have witnessed so much death and be so kindhearted. I have a lot of respect for her.
Because they are Catholic, they continue to pray for a long time. A vigil is held every day for 9 days in the afternoon next door at Uncle's house. People come and we make coffee and bread is served. On the forth day, today, something more special is given to the people that have been coming to pray. On the ninth day, everyone gathers again and stays up all night praying and have a celebration. Then again on day 40 there is another celebration. I think it's actually a very nice way to honor those that have passed.
Mama Chica is in my thoughts and heart all the time. I've never really known someone to die, let alone live with the surving one. It's been very emotional watching her go through the grieving process. We all try to stay strong for her. Sometimes I can't help it and come to my room and cry. She was really good the first 2 days, but on the 3rd said that the loneliness and emptiness had set in. That broke my heart. Ana and the kids moved their beds into a room with Mama Chica because she doesn't want to be alone. Imagine being married to someone for over 70 years and then waking up one day and they are gone?! Heartbreaking. We later found out that the grandparents had been having their afternoon snack of hot milk and bananas and grandma had sent grandpa outside to watch for a parade type thing that was supposed to be coming. He was going to go back in and get her when it got close. She never saw him again.
I know this is long, but they are memories I want to keep and remember. I especially want to remember my times with Papa Ticho and how he is the cutest old guy I have ever met. He had the cutest voice that I never could understand and he would talk anyway even though I don't speak Spanish. He didn't care. And his laugh...let me tell you. His laugh was the best. It was the cutest little giggle. I remember telling Eduardo on several occassions that I just need to see Papa Ticho every day and it will make my stay here so much better. I wish Eduardo would have told him.
I had the pleasure of getting to spend time with Papa Ticho on two separate occassions. The first was last year on my visit to ES with my mom and Liliana. We took grandma and grandpa with us to the beach and watching Papa Ticho in the water was like watching one of the kids. It was the highlight of my trip. Coming back this year, I got to have that experience again. We decided to go to the beach one day and asked the grandparents if they wanted to come with us. Grandma, aka Mama Chica, got so excited she had to sit down because she got dizzy! lol. We took them and they both got to experience the ocean and water again, which is a rare occasion for them.
Papa Ticho and Mama Chica are Eduardo's grandparents from his dad's side. Eduardo's father died when he was nine years old. His mom was so close to his dad's family that she continues to live with and around them to this day. The grandparents live in a room that connects my MIL's house to Eduardo's uncle's house next door. Although that is their son next door, my MIL has always been the one to look after them. That is the kind hearted soul that she is. She feeds them 3 meals a day and makes sure they have everything they need.
Last Monday my MIL, Ana, decided to take Liliana out for a walk because she was getting fussy. She walked out the door and headed up the street. What happened next continues to haunt me. Ana started screaming for Maynor. Maynor went running and I immediately got up from the computer. I knew something wasn't right. I started out the door and up the street as well. She then started screaming for Eduardo. I got closer and Liliana was standing on the ground by herself looking at the scene. I immediately picked her up and saw blood on the ground. Papa Ticho looked as though he had fallen and hit his head. There was blood on his head and Ana and now Eduardo were trying to sit him up. All the moments after are so clear, but everything happened so fast that it's almost a blur. There were people gathering around. I saw Eduardo and a neighbor doing CPR and trying to get Papa Ticho to regain consciousness. Ana was crying hysterically and Daniela had come to see what was going on. Maynor had gone back to the house and I later realized had been praying the whole time. Papa Ticho came to for a minute and a truck pulled up. Eduardo and I ran to the house to get money and anything he would need for the hospital. We ran back and he had already been lifted onto the truck to go to the local clinic. They left and we waited.
Daniela and I walked back into the house and she immediately sat down next to Maynor on the floor and they both proceeded to pray amongst the sobbing tears. I headed outside and Ana said she wanted to go to the clinic. I grabbed my purse and keys and headed out. Aunt Rosita came from across the street to stay with the kids. Ana and I left with Liliana. We got halfway to the clinic and saw the truck headed back. Eduardo motioned to us to go back and we instantly knew it wasn't good.
We got back to the house and the truck was parked out front. Things are done very differently here when someone dies. Papa Ticho was brought back from the clinic in the truck and there he was, lying like he was asleep. It was almost too much for me to handle. I had never seen anyone die before. I couldn't believe what was happening. I guess he didn't even make it to the clinic. The doctor examined him and said there was nothing that could be done. Apparantly he had a heart attack and that caused him to fall and hit his head and go unconscious.
As we all stood there not believing what was happening, all I could think about was Mama Chica. Why wasn't anyone telling her?! They brought her to the front of the house from the back and showed her her husband. It was so awful. She didn't even react at first, looking as if she thought he was sleeping. Then she realized what had happened and Eduardo explained to her that he was gone.
Within minutes it seemed like a casket was brought to the house and his Uncle's next door was being cleared out to make way for the casket and ceremony. He was put into the casket and put in the house. Ana was frantically calling her family and everyone was showing up or on their way. When someone dies here, they don't preserve the body in any way so it all happens very quickly.
Candles were lit everywhere and flowers were being brought. Coffee and bread were being made and bought and being served to every guest. This continued through the night. On the first night everyone stays up the entire night praying and talking and carrying on. I finally had to put Liliana to bed and myself. I didn't sleep well that night. Eduardo came to bed around 4am and didn't get much sleep either.
The next day preparations were being made for the funeral. I tried to call my mom but she was in Oregan in the mountains with my brother completely unreachable. Eduardo was doing everything everywhere and although there were a thousand people all around, I felt completely and utterly alone. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
The mass at the Church was scheduled for 3pm. At 2:30 everyone would walk alongside the casket up to the church from the house. Luckily before this, I was able to talk to my mom. I told her the story and cried and cried and was able to let it all out. Up until then I hadn't been able to talk to anybody. It was a huge relief. We then set out for the church. I started to walk for a little bit with Liliana while Eduardo took some of the elderly people in the car. Liliana got scared and fussy, so we jumped in the car with them. Thank goodness, it was a long walk! Eduardo thoroughly enjoyed the church service, but I had to excuse myself and go outside with Liliana and play because she wouldn't sit still. After the service everyone walked to the cemetary where Papa Ticho was buried. He was buried alongside Eduardo's dad and his dad and mom I believe. Watching the men all lift him down into the grave was really hard. It was then I really knew I would never see him again. It must have been hard for Ana as well being at the cemetary. Also beside them were the two babies she had lost at two different times in her life. She is such a strong woman to have witnessed so much death and be so kindhearted. I have a lot of respect for her.
Because they are Catholic, they continue to pray for a long time. A vigil is held every day for 9 days in the afternoon next door at Uncle's house. People come and we make coffee and bread is served. On the forth day, today, something more special is given to the people that have been coming to pray. On the ninth day, everyone gathers again and stays up all night praying and have a celebration. Then again on day 40 there is another celebration. I think it's actually a very nice way to honor those that have passed.
Mama Chica is in my thoughts and heart all the time. I've never really known someone to die, let alone live with the surving one. It's been very emotional watching her go through the grieving process. We all try to stay strong for her. Sometimes I can't help it and come to my room and cry. She was really good the first 2 days, but on the 3rd said that the loneliness and emptiness had set in. That broke my heart. Ana and the kids moved their beds into a room with Mama Chica because she doesn't want to be alone. Imagine being married to someone for over 70 years and then waking up one day and they are gone?! Heartbreaking. We later found out that the grandparents had been having their afternoon snack of hot milk and bananas and grandma had sent grandpa outside to watch for a parade type thing that was supposed to be coming. He was going to go back in and get her when it got close. She never saw him again.
I know this is long, but they are memories I want to keep and remember. I especially want to remember my times with Papa Ticho and how he is the cutest old guy I have ever met. He had the cutest voice that I never could understand and he would talk anyway even though I don't speak Spanish. He didn't care. And his laugh...let me tell you. His laugh was the best. It was the cutest little giggle. I remember telling Eduardo on several occassions that I just need to see Papa Ticho every day and it will make my stay here so much better. I wish Eduardo would have told him.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
My Role as a Stepmom
Spending time with the kids has been an adjustment for everyone. They seem to be loosening up with every visit we have with them and are bonding with Eduardo really well. I struggle at times with boundaries and mostly with communication. Funny thing is I can communicate easier and better with the kids than the adults. It´s more fun too! They seem to enjoy helping me and are eager to learn English as well.
Maynor is a 10 year old cuddly little boy. He is at the time in his life where is voice is changing and when he and Eduardo rough house or he is talking loud, his whiney voice drives me up the wall! Not so much his voice, but his squeel. Poor guy. He is a good looking kid, well they both are actually. I find it interesting how much he likes to cuddle with his papa. It didn´t take long for him to warm up at all. It was instant and their bond keeps getting stronger. It´s really sweet. Maynor just never seems to keep his hands off Eduardo though. I mean seriously, it´s starting me be a little strange for me. If I ever go up to Eduardo and hug him for even an instant, Maynor is right there and has to grab him and hug on him too. I am starting to see a little bit of jealousy forming there.
Daniela on the other hand is the little princess. She has actually taken a while to warm up to her papi and seemed to warm up to me first. She is particulary close with Eduardo´s mom. They are joined at the hip. The more she is warming up to us though, the more independent she is becoming. I can really see her desire for a mommy. It´s really sad and it makes me feel really sad that she hasn´t had that. Not having papi is one thing, but growing up without your mother, especially for a girl is another thing. I feel really good about the bond we are forming and see that relationship blossoming. I feel a maternal instinct with her, but also a strong friendship too.
Kids of this age in general, I have not spent a lot of time around. Eduardo either. It has been an adjustment for both of us. It´s hard for him to have his attention focused in so many directions and it´s hard for us as a couple to adjust to having other kids around that need our attention. I also think that little things that annoy us in other people´s kids don´t so much when they are your own.
The kids spend Monday through Friday morning at their mom´s parents house and our house friday afternoon through Monday morning. We were very close to having them com live with us this week, but after Eduardo consulted with a lawyer, it was decided it´s better for them to stay where they are for now. Legally Eduardo has the right to take them as the father and since the mother isn´t here, but if they fought us we don´t have a very good case right now. We feel it is best is several ways though, especially for our relationship. I´m sure it will all work itself out in time.
I´m not sure if I´ve written before that I have applied for both kids to come to the States as well. I sent the applications off in February. it is a different process for them since they have never been to the States before. It is not as complicated. I didn´t use a lawyer for them to save money, so I´m doing this part on my own and am hoping I don´t mess up. I hope to receive news on their cases soon. If they do get approved they will be able to come and visit. Eduardo wants them to stay in ES until they are 18 and then it will be their choice. They cannot get visitor visas though, so residency is the only way for them to be able to visit us every year.
Maynor is a 10 year old cuddly little boy. He is at the time in his life where is voice is changing and when he and Eduardo rough house or he is talking loud, his whiney voice drives me up the wall! Not so much his voice, but his squeel. Poor guy. He is a good looking kid, well they both are actually. I find it interesting how much he likes to cuddle with his papa. It didn´t take long for him to warm up at all. It was instant and their bond keeps getting stronger. It´s really sweet. Maynor just never seems to keep his hands off Eduardo though. I mean seriously, it´s starting me be a little strange for me. If I ever go up to Eduardo and hug him for even an instant, Maynor is right there and has to grab him and hug on him too. I am starting to see a little bit of jealousy forming there.
Daniela on the other hand is the little princess. She has actually taken a while to warm up to her papi and seemed to warm up to me first. She is particulary close with Eduardo´s mom. They are joined at the hip. The more she is warming up to us though, the more independent she is becoming. I can really see her desire for a mommy. It´s really sad and it makes me feel really sad that she hasn´t had that. Not having papi is one thing, but growing up without your mother, especially for a girl is another thing. I feel really good about the bond we are forming and see that relationship blossoming. I feel a maternal instinct with her, but also a strong friendship too.
Kids of this age in general, I have not spent a lot of time around. Eduardo either. It has been an adjustment for both of us. It´s hard for him to have his attention focused in so many directions and it´s hard for us as a couple to adjust to having other kids around that need our attention. I also think that little things that annoy us in other people´s kids don´t so much when they are your own.
The kids spend Monday through Friday morning at their mom´s parents house and our house friday afternoon through Monday morning. We were very close to having them com live with us this week, but after Eduardo consulted with a lawyer, it was decided it´s better for them to stay where they are for now. Legally Eduardo has the right to take them as the father and since the mother isn´t here, but if they fought us we don´t have a very good case right now. We feel it is best is several ways though, especially for our relationship. I´m sure it will all work itself out in time.
I´m not sure if I´ve written before that I have applied for both kids to come to the States as well. I sent the applications off in February. it is a different process for them since they have never been to the States before. It is not as complicated. I didn´t use a lawyer for them to save money, so I´m doing this part on my own and am hoping I don´t mess up. I hope to receive news on their cases soon. If they do get approved they will be able to come and visit. Eduardo wants them to stay in ES until they are 18 and then it will be their choice. They cannot get visitor visas though, so residency is the only way for them to be able to visit us every year.
Appt Date
I realized I haven´t written about our appt date at the embassy, the whole reason we are here! I received an email about a month ago now stating Eduardo´s 1st appt is on June 21st. I was actually pretty devasted hearing the news although I should´ve been happy. We thought our timing was pretty good with when Eduardo quit his job and us coming down here, but I guess we couldn´t have been more off. We ended up being here a couple months too early. I cried a lot at the time, but now realize there is not much we could have done differently. Everything we have done thus far has been with the best intentions and what we thought was the right thing. These things are just out of our control.
So Eduardo will first go to his medical exam on June 19th and then his first appt on June 21st. He then has a 2nd appt scheduled for June 28th. That will hopefully be the final appt. From there on out it is just a waiting game. The current wait times in El Salvador are ridiculously long. The rate the Embassy is processing waivers right now is nothing short of pathetic actually. We are probably looking at 12 to 16 months from the last appt date. Pretty scary. I try not to think about it too much yet because it just makes me sick. We were prepared for a long haul, but it seems to just get longer. I just pray we can make it through this time and that we get a speedy approval, nothing less than an approval! There is no other option!!
So Eduardo will first go to his medical exam on June 19th and then his first appt on June 21st. He then has a 2nd appt scheduled for June 28th. That will hopefully be the final appt. From there on out it is just a waiting game. The current wait times in El Salvador are ridiculously long. The rate the Embassy is processing waivers right now is nothing short of pathetic actually. We are probably looking at 12 to 16 months from the last appt date. Pretty scary. I try not to think about it too much yet because it just makes me sick. We were prepared for a long haul, but it seems to just get longer. I just pray we can make it through this time and that we get a speedy approval, nothing less than an approval! There is no other option!!
Update
I haven´t written in a while and I´m not quite sure why. It´s funny because I write blogs in my head, I just have to get them onto the computer! Speaking of computers, ours is getting a tune up right now so I am typing on the house computer with a spanish keyboard which makes things interesting. We are a little worried about getting our computer back since we haven´t heard from the lady fixing it since last night. Hopefully all is well and we will get it back shortly safe and sound.
So much has happened since my last post. We have traveled a lot and been on quite a few adventures. We visited the El Boqueron Volcano in San Salvador, went to see some Mayan Ruins and drove around beautiful Lake Coatapeque. We also spent a wonderful day at a beautiful beach club. Each of these places deserve their own post, but it didn´t work out that way. I promise I will be keeping up more now.
Eduardo and I have been visiting San Salvador a lot, the capital city. Each time we go I get to hang out with my friend Sarah as well so it´s great. Her and her husband are a great support system for getting through all this adjustment time and coping with living here. Things have still been difficult, but are getting a bit easier. Maybe not easier, but I seem to have gotten into my own groove of things and have some sort of a routine now. I have been cooking a lot and it´s been good to feel like I have something to contribute. Finding foods I want to cook is difficult, but I´m getting by. Sarah introduced us to PriceSmart in San Salvador, which is similar to Sam´s Club or Costco in the States. I prefer to buy the meat their especially. The other option for meat is the Mercado where everything is out in the open with flies all over and hot hot hot. This meat pretty much disgusts me to no end. I will have a whole blog on eating and buying food in ES at some point.
The rainy season has started and it´s been raining almost nonstop for days now. It´s cooled down which is nice, but it makes it hard to go anywhere. We have a tin roof too so when it rains, you can´t really hear anything in the house. It´s incredibly loud. No music, tv or hardly any talking is done. It´s pretty funny. Liliana gets really scared when it gets really loud and we feel bad for her.
Speaking of Liliana it is raining and she´s scared so I must go. Will write again soon.
So much has happened since my last post. We have traveled a lot and been on quite a few adventures. We visited the El Boqueron Volcano in San Salvador, went to see some Mayan Ruins and drove around beautiful Lake Coatapeque. We also spent a wonderful day at a beautiful beach club. Each of these places deserve their own post, but it didn´t work out that way. I promise I will be keeping up more now.
Eduardo and I have been visiting San Salvador a lot, the capital city. Each time we go I get to hang out with my friend Sarah as well so it´s great. Her and her husband are a great support system for getting through all this adjustment time and coping with living here. Things have still been difficult, but are getting a bit easier. Maybe not easier, but I seem to have gotten into my own groove of things and have some sort of a routine now. I have been cooking a lot and it´s been good to feel like I have something to contribute. Finding foods I want to cook is difficult, but I´m getting by. Sarah introduced us to PriceSmart in San Salvador, which is similar to Sam´s Club or Costco in the States. I prefer to buy the meat their especially. The other option for meat is the Mercado where everything is out in the open with flies all over and hot hot hot. This meat pretty much disgusts me to no end. I will have a whole blog on eating and buying food in ES at some point.
The rainy season has started and it´s been raining almost nonstop for days now. It´s cooled down which is nice, but it makes it hard to go anywhere. We have a tin roof too so when it rains, you can´t really hear anything in the house. It´s incredibly loud. No music, tv or hardly any talking is done. It´s pretty funny. Liliana gets really scared when it gets really loud and we feel bad for her.
Speaking of Liliana it is raining and she´s scared so I must go. Will write again soon.
Friday, April 30, 2010
The Ex's Family
I had an interesting experience I just have to share. Eduardo took a taxi last weekend to drop the kids off at their other Grandparents' house. His ex-wife/kids mother lives in San Francisco and the kids spend the weekdays with the other grandparents and every other weekend here with Eduardo's mom. Anywho, when he dropped the kids off the grandparents said they would love to meet Liliana and me! This wasn't exactly my idea of a good time and we all new it was more of a wanting to size me up and pass the info on to their daughter. Well it cost $25 for the taxi there and back, so we decided we would pick them up in the van and take them back. The thing is that Eduardo doesn't have a license here either (long story) and there are checkpoints all over so I have to drive everywhere, therefore I would drive to pick up the kids and meet the family. Yay.
I dressed as cute as I could without going overboard of course and we headed over. It's about a 45 minute trip. We pulled up and I got introduced to his ex's mother and father. The father was super nice and seemed like a nice guy. The mother acted nice, but if looks could kill I wouldn't be here to tell the story. It was very odd. She seemed so disgusted I was there despite inviting me personally. There were two other girls there who I found out after were the wives of the ex's brothers. One was very sweet and the other was very pretty, but the look on her face to me was downright scary! I couldn't follow the conversation, but it all seemed cordial. Apparently they were making us lunch, but Eduardo made up an excuse about us having friends visiting so we had to leave. We had already been there a while as the kids were late getting home from school. Plus, Ana (MIL) had warned me several times before we left not to eat any food they gave me. It was kind of a joke, but actually wasn't! Since we weren't staying for lunch they said they would love for me to go with them to church on Sunday. We graciously declined again. What do these people want from me?! The father shook my hand and said good-bye, but the mother didn't even say goodbye. So weird.
Hopefully Eduardo gets his license soon. It costs about $150 and is very complicated to get, but he's working on it. Until then I will have to just put up with the weird ex-wife's family.
I dressed as cute as I could without going overboard of course and we headed over. It's about a 45 minute trip. We pulled up and I got introduced to his ex's mother and father. The father was super nice and seemed like a nice guy. The mother acted nice, but if looks could kill I wouldn't be here to tell the story. It was very odd. She seemed so disgusted I was there despite inviting me personally. There were two other girls there who I found out after were the wives of the ex's brothers. One was very sweet and the other was very pretty, but the look on her face to me was downright scary! I couldn't follow the conversation, but it all seemed cordial. Apparently they were making us lunch, but Eduardo made up an excuse about us having friends visiting so we had to leave. We had already been there a while as the kids were late getting home from school. Plus, Ana (MIL) had warned me several times before we left not to eat any food they gave me. It was kind of a joke, but actually wasn't! Since we weren't staying for lunch they said they would love for me to go with them to church on Sunday. We graciously declined again. What do these people want from me?! The father shook my hand and said good-bye, but the mother didn't even say goodbye. So weird.
Hopefully Eduardo gets his license soon. It costs about $150 and is very complicated to get, but he's working on it. Until then I will have to just put up with the weird ex-wife's family.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
My New Friends
So things finally came to a head with Eduardo and I last night. We got in a big fight, but the tension got released finally and things are back to normal today. Big sigh of relief! I woke up feeling good and even Liliana is being super cute and happy today. The weather has cooled down a lot with the rain. I hear that in a couple weeks it will start raining and not stop for a long time. Should be interesting.
I made 2 new friends today!! American gals that live in ES too. I have been online friends with them for a while. We are all part of an online immigration support group. They are down here going through the same process as we are. It's super cool there are others to relate to. Eduardo had to go into San Salvador, the big city, and do some paperwork so he dropped Liliana and I off on the way and we met up with these 2 gals, Sarah and Kristen. We all hung out for a little bit and it was really great to get to speak English and share stories and complain together. It was great therapy and just what I needed! Sarah lives about 45 minutes away and Kristen is more like 2 hours, but we plan on getting together a lot more now that we have met. Yay!!
Eduardo got a used washing machine while they were in San Salvador for $150 and that's exciting. We don't have to make Ana, MIL, wash all our laundry by hand anymore and I can use MY natural detergent. Good day all in all.
I made 2 new friends today!! American gals that live in ES too. I have been online friends with them for a while. We are all part of an online immigration support group. They are down here going through the same process as we are. It's super cool there are others to relate to. Eduardo had to go into San Salvador, the big city, and do some paperwork so he dropped Liliana and I off on the way and we met up with these 2 gals, Sarah and Kristen. We all hung out for a little bit and it was really great to get to speak English and share stories and complain together. It was great therapy and just what I needed! Sarah lives about 45 minutes away and Kristen is more like 2 hours, but we plan on getting together a lot more now that we have met. Yay!!
Eduardo got a used washing machine while they were in San Salvador for $150 and that's exciting. We don't have to make Ana, MIL, wash all our laundry by hand anymore and I can use MY natural detergent. Good day all in all.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I hate El Salvador!
This is a harsh statemtent, I know. But it seems to be the only way to sum up how my first week in El Salvador is going. We got here Friday night and it is now only Wednesday. It feels as if weeks have gone by and it´s been mere days. It could be because we wake up around 6am with the roosters and go to bed around 8pm well after dark.
Saturday and Sunday were super overwhelming. Almost all I can remember now is that I cried A LOT those first 2 days. The 2 kids and Eduardo´s niece, Diana, were here all weekend and I´m not really used to be around older aged kids. Older than Liliana atleast. Eduardo was with them most of the time and talking with what seemed like hundreds of people that stopped by the house constantly. My MIL went everywhere with us because she knows the towns. It was just all too much, especially after our 9 day car trip!
The last couple days have been better in the sense that I´m not constantly crying. It has been a very long time since I have experienced the intensity of emotions I have since being here. The anger, resentment, sadness and depression are super intense. The negativity surrounding me is disgusting. I barely even recognize myself. Who is this horrible person that has taken over me?! I knew this day would eventually come where life as I knew it would drastically change, but now that it´s here, I just want my old life back. I feel selfish that I don´t want to share my husband with anyone else. I´ve been the center of his attention since we met and Liliana has been papa´s little princess since she was born and now there´s a whole new family we have to share with. Please don´t judge me. I know these thoughts are horrible. I know I should welcome them all with open arms, that´s the type of person I am. But I can´t seem to get the negativity out of my head. It consumes me. I´ve been trying to find the positive things about our situation and I just can´t.
El Salvador seemed so different last year when I was here, but I don´t think it´s the country that has changed, I know it´s my view of it. This time I´m here, I know I will be here a long time. We did find a shower head that puts out hot water! That is a positive point. I couldn´t handle the freezing cold showers even for a day. We bought a king size bed for $260 for the 3 of us to sleep in and we replaced the shitty air conditioner with a brand new one yesterday. We slept well last night! It´s just the whole lifestyle down here that is so different and it will take a while to get used to. A friend of mine sent me a link to a definition of Culture Shock. It was actually really good to read to see I´m not just going crazy, that these feelings are very common for someone in my situation. I´m just praying I will start to feel better before my MIL starts to think I´m just a complete bitch! I´m really not, I swear!
Saturday and Sunday were super overwhelming. Almost all I can remember now is that I cried A LOT those first 2 days. The 2 kids and Eduardo´s niece, Diana, were here all weekend and I´m not really used to be around older aged kids. Older than Liliana atleast. Eduardo was with them most of the time and talking with what seemed like hundreds of people that stopped by the house constantly. My MIL went everywhere with us because she knows the towns. It was just all too much, especially after our 9 day car trip!
The last couple days have been better in the sense that I´m not constantly crying. It has been a very long time since I have experienced the intensity of emotions I have since being here. The anger, resentment, sadness and depression are super intense. The negativity surrounding me is disgusting. I barely even recognize myself. Who is this horrible person that has taken over me?! I knew this day would eventually come where life as I knew it would drastically change, but now that it´s here, I just want my old life back. I feel selfish that I don´t want to share my husband with anyone else. I´ve been the center of his attention since we met and Liliana has been papa´s little princess since she was born and now there´s a whole new family we have to share with. Please don´t judge me. I know these thoughts are horrible. I know I should welcome them all with open arms, that´s the type of person I am. But I can´t seem to get the negativity out of my head. It consumes me. I´ve been trying to find the positive things about our situation and I just can´t.
El Salvador seemed so different last year when I was here, but I don´t think it´s the country that has changed, I know it´s my view of it. This time I´m here, I know I will be here a long time. We did find a shower head that puts out hot water! That is a positive point. I couldn´t handle the freezing cold showers even for a day. We bought a king size bed for $260 for the 3 of us to sleep in and we replaced the shitty air conditioner with a brand new one yesterday. We slept well last night! It´s just the whole lifestyle down here that is so different and it will take a while to get used to. A friend of mine sent me a link to a definition of Culture Shock. It was actually really good to read to see I´m not just going crazy, that these feelings are very common for someone in my situation. I´m just praying I will start to feel better before my MIL starts to think I´m just a complete bitch! I´m really not, I swear!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)