Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Single Parent Family

I hope and pray that what I am experiencing is the closest I will ever get to being a single parent family.  One of my best friends is a single parent and I see how hard it can be.  My mother was a single parent for most of my life and God knows our life was hell at times and she had a very hard time.

Being away from my husband for extended periods of time is like being a single parent.  I think any other mother going through the immigration process with her family can understand this feeling.  Most families I know choose to split up, with one of the parents going away to their home country.  It's usually the father.  I have spent many days thinking about the women I know that have gone months and years without their husbands in their lives and the lives of their children.  This thought always breaks my heart.

We made the choice as a family not to break us apart.  We knew that no matter how hard it would be, we would do what we could do stay together, no matter what country it would end up.  Now our lives seem to have taken a turn and God knows for what reason.  I never would have chose this for my family.  Nobody chooses to be a single parent.  It's a whole set of circumstances that get you to that point.

And it's not fair to the children.  Forget about me.  I know how to be strong and carry on and do what I must.  But what about the poor children that fall victim to immigration laws.  What about the children who's parents get deported and are left with nothing?  How can the government think this is okay?!  How can the government think it's better than I have to put myself and my daughter on Medicaid to get our medical needs met?  How can it be that I have wait in the same line and the people getting food stamps and realized I'm not any better off than they are right now.  I guess the only difference is that I have a family that is being very supportive and helping us out in this moment.  And for that I am grateful.

So my hat goes off to all the single mamas out there struggling to get by.  It's not an easy job.  And for those mamas waiting for their husbands to return back to them from some far off country, don't give up!  We have to remember why we are doing what we do and keep on going.  We will all make it in the end.

3 comments:

Daniell Kaster said...

Thinking of you, Kelsey! Hope we get to meet up sometime this summer!

Daniell

Lisa n Javi said...

Great post Kelsey. I admire all the mommas including you that have to go through the process alone too. I am in some way very lucky that all this happened before we had any kids. At least now I kind of no what life will be like when we do decide to have kids but I hope to be just as strong as you and all the other mommies.

Kelsey said...

Daniell - I would LOVE that. I've been thinking of you :)

Lisa - It's a blessing you don't have kids right now. You will when the time is right ;)