By the time I put Liliana down to sleep last night, the words for this post just wouldn't come together in my mind, so it's given me more time to think about everything. This post is all about step-children and being a step-mother. I know it's always a different situation for each family, but this is my experience so far.
|Maynor, Liliana, Daniela and Diana (our niece)|
So where did that leave the kids? She had left the kids in the care of her parents and had papers even written up. The kids would then travel back and forth on the weekends, but not all, to Eduardo's mothers house. I'm not sure if it was always like this, but it has been as long as I have known Eduardo. So the poor children basically have grown up with their grandparents, only knowing their mother and father via telephone and webcams for the past 8 years.
|Liliana and Daniela|
Since being here for the past 9 months, we have had our share of ups and downs with the children. It took them a while to warm up and there is still a long way to go with both Eduardo and myself. They still live with their other grandparents and come here on the weekends. Sometimes when they come, they are really happy to be here with their hearts wide open, but more than not they come somewhat reserved and stand-offish. It has always been extremely frustrating for me. Probably the hardest and most frustrating thing about being here are the kids. It's hard because I cannot communicate with them and I desperately wish I could. We try the best we can, but it's all surfacey stuff. What makes it worse is that Eduardo's communication with them is not good and I wish sometimes that he would try harder to heal those relationships. I don't always approve of the things that go on here, especially when the kids are involved, but I am often told "it's not my problem or business." This is really hurtful because I want to open my heart fully to these kids and do all I can for them, but it's hard to feel to the desire when that's the response I get. The kids are very close with Eduardo's mom which is natural. She is basically their mother, but that relationship I feel hinders Eduardo's relationship with them.
|Fernando (a cousin), Eduardo and Maynor|
I had filed for residency for both Maynor and Daniela to be able to go to the States. We paid the fees and were moving right along, but have come to a halt. Their mother is refusing to sign the papers for them to get their passports and without passports they cannot get visas. Everything has been put on hold. It's very sad for them because they thought they were going and were so excited about it. Now they know it probably won't happen for a long time. I hope someday to be able to fly them back with us and take them to the zoo and to amusement parks and all the experiences of living in the States can bring. They deserve that!